Congress, in its vast and compassionate wisdom, will soon propose Federal Affirmative Action laws to broaden the participation of women and minorities in the professions and trades. Under the new law, the only requirement for a woman or minority to obtain a license to practice medicine, law, public accounting, investment banking or any of the trades, will be that the applicant complete and sign an application. Three quarters of the population will support this action when they are convinced by Congress that the ability to immediately enter high paying positions will usher the disadvantaged into economic parity overnight.

Within eighteen months of the change in the laws, almost all women and minority professionals and trades people will be bankrupt. Those with years of schooling, training and extensive talent and experience will not find a paying client. Nobody wants to put their family's health, their home, their business, their savings or their legal problems in the hands of someone who is likely to be in the lowest calibre of their profession. White Anglo Male Professionals (WAMPs) will be in such demand they won't be able to handle all the business. Professional fees will increase ten fold. WAMPs will flourish as women and minorities are driven from the professions and the trades.

Ridiculous? Certainly! But Affirmative Action already exists. I am only exaggerating the degree of its implementation. In a competitive market, employer and consumer bias toward those who take advantage of 'dumbed down' or anti-competitive set-aside programs can do nothing more than result in an unfair advantage to those who are prohibited from participating. If I were a woman or a racial or ethnic minority, I'd be quite suspect of those WAMPs in congress who are promoting Affirmative Action. Since I am, myself, a WAMP, I feel confident congress will continue providing me with this enormous advantage over the women and minorities they purport to represent.